Things You Learn From Watching Porn

* Women wear high heels to bed.

* Men are never impotent.

* When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

* If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

* Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

* Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

* Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

* Women always orgasm when men do.

* A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

* All women are noisy fucks.

* People in the 70’s couldn’t fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

* Those tits are real.

* A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman’s butt.

* Men always groan ‘OH YEAH’ when they cum.
* If there is two of them they ‘high five’ each other. (and the girl isn’t disgusted!)

* Double penetration makes women smile.

* Asian men don’t exist.

* If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won’t bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend’s mouth.

* There’s a plot.

* When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

* Nurses suck patients’ cocks.

* Men always pull out.

* When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

* Women never have headaches.

* When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it’s important for him to remind her to ’suck it’

* Assholes are clean.

* A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

* Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s pants and find a cock there.

* Men don’t have to beg.

* When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman’s head and the other proudly on his hip.

* Pigtails = handlebars.

Niste lucruri foarte interesante si reale:)))

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One Comment on “Things You Learn From Watching Porn”

  1. Son of the Vikings Says:

    This gives a meaning to my whole sexual life (except for the mens always pulling it out)


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